So like the other reason posts, this will include; an outline of what’s happening, then the effects, examples where needed and then you can digest how this is ripping me apart.
This one will be the shortest of the reason posts. Hunger is the worst problem this world faces. Whether it be a third world child, an obese person who’s hunger is killing them or someone who hungers to be like the models in magazines and intentionally starves themselves to death.
Hunger if left uncured, kills.
So the average human male requires 2500 Kcal a day. I eat 200 to 700 a day, my average being 500. I always eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and if left to my own devices I would personally eat mostly vegetarian meals. (I could never give up salmon.)
Obviously this leads to starvation, concentration problems and I’ve been known to collapse. However people see me and refuse to believe someone who weighs my weight could ever be only eating this amount of food. Yet I have symptoms of anemia, very little appetite and I get weak a lot. If one person reads this and it changes their view it will mean more than I can ever explain. A person’s weight should have nothing to do with the ability to have an under eating disorder.
I’ve lived like this for many years. It started when I was in high school and my family didn’t have enough money for food. My dad has type 1 diabetes and my mum is his full time carer, so taking food of them would have put my dad in hospital. My sister was young and wouldn’t have understood and I felt a duty to look after her. So I was the one who stopped eating breakfast and dinner. No one really noticed especially seeing as I was in charge of making my own school dinners. My family could keep eating, my favorite parent stayed out of hospital, and my mum could breath a bit easier.
Not only do I only eat 2 meals a day now, (light breakfast and evening meal,) but I also don’t feel my own stomach growl anymore people will comment about my stomach growling but I’m completely unaware. Eating 3 meals a day would make me physically sick. I also have little interest in food or desire to eat.
Once I was at a restaurant. I ordered the meal that sounded like something I would pick, so no one would think there was anything wrong with the situation. When it arrived at the table I didn’t salivate at the sight or smell. I pretended to look happy about the food because someone kind was buying me food. I was sated after eating one chip, yet I had seen the price of the food. Not wanting to offend anyone I forced myself to eat the whole meal. It didn’t cost a lot, only £6 but that was a lot for me then and it was more than I’d eat in a day. I had to excuse myself mid meal to throw up because I needed the room in my stomach.
On top of that I also CAN NOT eat beef products under any circumstances. That includes ‘pork sausages’ that are actually in beef casings (not even if you took the skins off,) any live yogurts, energy drinks containing taurine, sweets with un-described gelatin, marshmallows, and anything cooked at the same time as beef.
If I do, I experience symptoms like lactose intolerant people. My stomach well swell painfully, but is also tender. I will burp and fart excessively. However I also projectile vomit so violently that it comes out of my nose too. I also have violent diarrhea at the same time. I run a fever and sweat profusely. Feel like I’ve been poisoned. Become light headed and faint or fall asleep.Over all it feels like extreme food poisoning and will drain me for days.
Currently I’m writing this after having one of these experiences. I now won’t eat food for at least 24 hours. It also stops me sleeping because it’s too painful to lie down.
This makes it almost impossible to eat out, or eat at a work canteen. It’s surprising how many food products contain cow/beef/bovine. If you take anything from this post; next time you are out shopping, check everything for anything beef related; I guarantee it will be an eye opener. Especially if you shop at cheap/discounter stores. Check everything you put in your cart or that you love or buy frequently. If it contains stuff I couldn’t eat (that includes any gelatin that isn’t vegetarian but doesn’t state it’s origin.) put it to one side of the cart. I don’t want you to feel pity, I just want you to think for a minute and evaluate if that product really needs to have cow in it.